An open letter to a man who feels he can't believe:
Dear Jonathan:
I watched as your beautiful little daughter was christened recently, and
noticed you did not attempt to recite the customary words of belief
expected from parents. I respected you immensely for not mouthing words
which you did not believe. I also admired you for standing with your wife who
does believe, in a gesture of solidarity and fatherly support. I remembered
her saying that even though you had read all the books for skeptics and tried
to believe in Jesus, it was just a bit too much for you to swallow.
Jonathan, you are far from alone in how you feel. It struck me recently that
people who "cannot believe" continue to struggle with the question, either
front and center, or stewing in the back of the mind. Unless one has
completely cut himself or herself off from God, I believe that it is natural for
questions to keep echoing or trickling through the head. That alone should
tell us something, something about the nature of God who (in my view) keeps
gently tapping on our brain and consciousness. I too had my season of
questioning, in the late teenage and early adult years, even though I had been
raised in the church. I did not outwardly rebel or leave the church but inside I
had questions aplenty. I used to worry about that but then I ran across a
great quote:
"Faith unexamined is a curious offering to be made to the creator of the
human mind." God is wider, greater, smarter than all our questions. It is okay
with God when we demand deep answers.
Among intellectuals that I have observed, once they decided to believe, (and
it does come down, really, to deciding, because faith cannot ultimately be
proven) then they go on to live out that faith. They move on to putting faith
into practice in life, which can be a freeing experience. Freeing in that they
don't continue to mull the same old questions, but move on to the new
questions that come as they continue to try to live the life of faith. The
journey deepens.
Having children has enriched my faith journey and helped me to understand
God and the nature of God's love in unexpected ways. I finally understand (at
least a little bit) how God can't help loving me, even though I do things that
are unpleasing. Just as you, Jonathan, adore your beautiful child, so God
adores you. Without reservation. How much God wants our love in return,
just as I desire the love of my children! My prayer for you and the many other
millions like you is that just as that little girl has now unexpectedly touched
regions of your being that you probably didn't even know were there, so may
you be open to ways that God would speak to your mind and your spirit.
Sometimes belief doesn't come all at once.
A father once brought his son to Jesus to be healed. "How long has he been
like this?" asked Jesus.
The father replied, "From childhood" and begged, "If you can do anything, take
pity on us and help us."
Jesus said, "Everything is possible for him who believes."
The father replied, "I do believe. Help me overcome my unbelief" (Mark 9:24)
There are times when we also need to pray, help my unbelief.
Contributed by Melodie Davis from her weekly column
ANOTHER WAY.
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